


Beaten Until It Comes Apart

by thatonedudewiththename



Series: What Doesn't Kill Me [3]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Ableist Language, Amputation, Angst, Depression, FLUFF EVENTUALLY, Gen, Self-Hatred, So much angst, amputee!mikey, attempted suicide, pugilistic parkinsons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3103460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonedudewiththename/pseuds/thatonedudewiththename
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michelangelo and Leonardo are captured by a crazed biologist, and while they're trapped, suffer a few... injuries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beaten Until It Comes Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I'd combine the Leo and Mikey fics and hit two birds with one stone! The title is a joke that's probably only funny to me.

It was _supposed_ to have been a simple night run; the usual course over the rooftops and across the construction site, ending at the warehouses near the docks before Mikey and Leo headed back home, but tonight had been different- the _bad_ kind of different.  
The different started when Leonardo tripped on the ledge of a building's roof and hit the ground hard, the smack of his shell and skull on the pavement making Michelangelo gasp audibly and very loudly. Wall jumping down to his fallen brother, he picked him up, cradling his head. "Leo! Are you ok?!" He cried.  
"... No need.... to yell..." Leo groaned, attempting to stand on his own, rubbing the bump that was beginning to form where his head had hit the ground. "My shell broke the fall. I don't think I hit my head that hard."  
Mikey remained unconvinced. "No, I think we should get you to Don."  
A second passed of Leo trying to steady himself. "You're right, Mikey, let's head back."

It was slow going since they weren't taking the roof route, but eventually they reached the manhole they'd come up out of. Just as Mikey lifted the cover, bright car lights shone drown the alleyway, illuminating them and cutting off any chance of escape without being seen. "Finally! I'll be famous!" A voice shouted in triumph.  
Both turtles were struck by darts, the effects of the tranquilizing fluid inside becoming apparent right away. Not seconds later, they fainted and knew no more.

∆

Unsurprisingly, Leo and Mikey awoke in cages with chains around their ankles, like they were wild animals or something. Groaning drew Mikey's attention from his own predicament to Leo's in the cage across the sciencey room that they were in. "You ok?" Leo asked, tugging at the chain near its connection to the bottom of the cage.  
"Yeah, I'm fine. How's your head, bro?" Mikey questioned, moving to the edge of the cage to be as close to his brother as he could.  
"Still hurts."  
"Be careful, ok?"  
"Aren't I always?"  
To Mikey's right, a door swung open, though there wasn't much light outside it; if anything, it was darker out there than it was in here. "Subjects 08-R and 09-R are awake, it appears," said a voice that could've been male or female. Judging from the red light on the camcorder the person was holding, they were recording this. "Subject 08-R is approximately 165.1 centimeters, and weighs about 74.8 kilograms. Its mutated DNA has terrapin roots, attributing to its turtle-like appearance." The scientist took a remote out of their lab coat and pressed a button on it, causing a collar around Mikey's neck to flash red and render him immobile, though not before he managed to let out a shriek.  
"What are you doing to my brother, you freak!?" Leo shouted from the other side of the laboratory. He was ignored; the remote was put away and the cage door opened. "Circumference of right upper arm is roughly..." Wrapping a yellow measuring tape around Mikey's arm, the numbers were read off. "... 37 centimeters." They moved to the other side. "Left arm is the same."  
Focusing their attention downward, they measured both legs. "Thighs are nearly double in circumference of the arms, and calves about the same as them. Subject has three large fingers on both hands and two wide toes on each foot. Teeth are not very well maintained, but there are no visible dental issues or anomalies." Shining the small light the scientist had swapped out the tape measurer for into Mikey's unmoving eyes, they noted in that awful flat voice, "Eyes appear to be strong and healthy. Irises are the typical brown colour found in many animals." Just as they were about to move on down to Michelangelo's plastron, they happened to shine a light just under the mutant turtle's eyes and see the darker flecks of green splattered there like clusters of stars. "Hmm," The scientist said, "The dermalogical condition known as freckles in humans appears to be evident in subject 08-R. Interesting." Only lingering a moment longer, crazy scientist person turned their attention to the rest of Mikey's body.

The same tests were run on Leonardo, followed by the scientist setting their camcorder up on a tripod before transferring both brothers to examination tables, not needing to strap them down as the mobility inhibitors did that job just fine. Bright lights were turned on above the tables, further restricting Leo and Mikey's view of their captor and the lab they were trapped in. After the person drew marks on the bodies of Leonardo and Michelangelo in blue marker, they began to speak. "I will first start with the left arm of subject 08-R," A scalpel was taken from the small medical tray beside the scientist and pressed to the dashed blue line surrounding Mikey's elbow. Pressure was applied, and it soon drew blood. "I have begun the removal and examination of subject 08-R's left forearm and hand."  
Distantly, strangled noises and mumbling could be heard, though what they were saying couldn't be made out. By now, scientist person had cut all the way around Mikey's arm and had set down the scalpel in favour of a hand saw. They made no comment as they sawed half of the 16-year-old mutant turtle's arm clean off, the whining of the motor drowning out the small cries and muffled screams of the very much awake Mikey and the anguished Leo, the latter of which could only watch as his poor, in agony brother was handicapped before both of their eyes. By the time the arm was removed, Mikey had passed out from the pain and stress, which of course wasn't visible due to his temporarily paralyzed state. But Leo knew. He knew, and he was pissed as all hell about it, raging and desperately trying to pull his body free from its forced stasis, but to no avail; all he could do was watch... and wait for his turn.  
"I have now removed the forearm of subject 08-R. Examination will begin once I have taken the proper measures to prevent extensive blood loss, and will take place again when I have also removed the plastron of subject 08-R and subject 09-R in order to access their internal organs." The scientist narrated. They walked out of Leo's line of sight with Mikey's arm, returning a moment afterwards empty-handed. They then began to fix the unconscious ninja turtle up, injecting Mikey with some odd liquid and wrapping the stump that was now his left arm in gauze.

Time passed while the abductor worked on things Leo couldn't understand on a computer and talked to their camcorder whilst doing so. Frequently, they would move out of his sight to do whatever- probably dissecting Mikey's arm, or something equally as disgusting. While this all happened, Leo tried to field a guess as to how long it had been since his and his brother's capture; a day? Two? No! Impossible, Master Splinter and his remaining siblings would've been searching for them by now, and, if the shell cells were still transmitting, would no doubt find them any second now. _'Yeah,'_ Leonardo thought with calm and ease entering his tired mind, _'Any second now...'_  
Before he could even stop himself, he fell asleep.

 

Michelangelo awoke with a foggy brain, an itch unlike any other in his left arm, and a serene numbness everywhere else on his body. "Ugh, what the hell happened...?" He groaned, attempting to sit up and scratch, only to find that a. he had no forearm to scratch at, and b: there was a hand on his chest preventing him from moving. Once his brain had relatively cleared, he remembered the laboratory, the crazy scientist, the cage, the SURGERY- "LEO! _LEO!"_ He cried, fighting against the now two sets of hands attempting to hold him in place.  
"Mikey, it's alright, you're safe, you and Leo are home now." The calm, slightly lisped voice of Donatello found its way into Mikey's ears and stopped the muggy turtle from struggling.  
Finally, Michelangelo's eyesight caught up with reality, and he found himself sitting in his bed, in his home, with his father and two of his brothers standing around him. "Donnie!" He cried, signing with one hand as he spoke, "Raph! Dad!" But then, his expression dropped. "Where's... where's Leo?"  
"Here," From the doorway, Leonardo waved to Mikey, carrying a tray of food in his left hand with a smile on his face.  
"You are both safe now, my son. You need not worry any longer." Master Splinter said, placing a gentle hand on Mikey's head and patting it softly.  
"We came and got ya just as that psycho was aboutta cut you 'n Leo open," Raphael informed the bedridden mutant. "Thanks'ta the shell cells bein' intact."  
At this point, Leo had made it to the bed with the tray, setting it down on Mikey's lap- whoops. Out of nowhere, his hands began to tremble and he became so dizzy that he tipped the tray over, spilling the glass of water, plate of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs, and bowl of applesauce everywhere. "Shit." He hissed.  
The cup broke upon impact with the floor, as did the bowl, but the styrofoam plate faired better. Applesauce and macaroni splattered across the concrete and rock ground, making everyone leap back to avoid getting it on their feet.  
"Aww, Leo, my food." Mikey said in a jokingly sad way, again attempting to scratch his nonexistent arm.  
"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what happened." Leo said, swaying slightly before dropping to his knees to clean the mess he made using napkins from the first aid kit Donnie had brought into the room.  
Mikey frowned a bit and shifted where he sat in his bed. "Leo, did you ever get Donnie to check your head out?" He asked.  
The clearly visible bump on the back of Leo's head that had gone un-iced suggested a negative answer. "... I'm fine." The blue-masked turtle said quickly, wiping the mac and cheese/applesauce mixture onto the styrofoam plate along with the accompanying dirty hot dogs.  
Master Splinter spoke up at this point. "If you are injured, Leonardo, you should have said something to us. Not treating an injury is very irresponsible."  
Sitting back, Leo _rolled his eyes_ and stood up. "I said I was fine, and I am. My head doesn't hurt anymore. The only person you, Donnie, and Raph should be worried about is Mikey." He stated flatly. Walking toward the door, he said, "I'll be back with your dinner, Mikey."

∆

Self-loathing was an emotion Leonardo never thought he'd feel, and, as a result of this, he found himself in denial of that loathing.  
It'd been over a week since the... incident (Leo still couldn't bring himself to even _think_ the word "kidnapping"); the trembling, the persistent, constant shivering of his body was getting harder to cover up. Not only that, but now Leo's speech was starting to slurr, and he sometimes found it difficult to talk due to his throat closing up. He was stiff, achy, lethargic- _useless._ 'If I can't be a great leader or brother, what am I good for?'  
That sentence crossed his mind constantly, distracting him, teasing him, laughing at him. _Useless._

Mikey's positive attitude concerning the loss of half a limb only fueled the hatred inside of Leonardo's soul. Ignoring it and him seemed to work- though his brothers and master pestered him about it- but then... the inevitable.  
He snapped.

It happened on a Friday. Donatello had fallen asleep watching Star Trek reruns, Raphael was in his room using a laptop that Don had finished moding to listen to some Youtube videos of unknown description, and Master Splinter was, as far as anyone knew, meditating, leaving Leo and Mikey up by themselves. To distract himself, Leo lifted weights, cursing under his breath every time he'd nearly lose his grip on the metal due to his hands not wanting to cooperate and the never ending shaking. Behind him, sitting on the sofa in front of the now off TV, Mikey watched his brother with spooned brows, brown eyes picking up the trembling and ears hearing the incoherent whispers as they travelled through the still sewer air. Finally, after what felt like years of silence, he asked, "Are you ok, Leo?"  
He received no reply, nor any acknowledgment of him even being heard. "Why are you ignoring me?" Mikey pressed further. "Are you mad at me or somethin'?" Vaulting over the back of the sofa, he came to stop behind the weights rack that Casey had brought over once upon a time- mostly for Raph, but the others used it, as well- resting on it with his remaining arm, a troubled, but then brightened expression upon his face. "This is about the arm, ain't it? Look how badass I am now! If anything, I should be thankin' you!"  
What was spoken to him echoed in Leonardo's ears, causing him to drop his weights with a metallic _clang_ to the concrete below him. He whirled around (or, at least he tried to, considering how much harder walking had gotten for him) and glared Michelangelo down with hatred and seething anger coiling in his eyes. "How dare you. How _DARE_ you say that to me! After what I've done!"  
Mikey held up his hand in defense and leaned back. "Bro-"  
"I fucked up! I fucked up and got us captured. You lost an arm, Mikey! Don't you get it? You're handicapped for the rest of your life! _'Thanking me'?_ You should-" Leo had to pause to breathe and to try and open his throat more. From his bent position, he finished his sentence with a quaking voice. "You should hate me."  
And then he just... _crumbled._ Leonardo physically fell apart right before his brother's very eyes. Sobbing, forever shaking hands covering a wet and contorted face, stiff, pained, and so very frail body racking and swaying with each hiccuping wail. Michelangelo watched as his brother, his leader, deteriorated in front of him. Slowly, he reached out and touched Leo's shoulder, but the action was deferred by Leo swatting his hand away. "Fuck off." Spat with venom and malice into the quiet of the empty lair, the words hit Mikey in the head like acid.  
When Leo looked up a while later, he was alone.

∆

No one could find Leonardo the next day, or the day after. His bed hadn't been slept in and his katanas were still in their stand; lying beside them, a blue mask. The only thing missing from his room, as far as anyone could tell, was a trenchcoat and a hat. 

Days became weeks, and weeks became months with no word from the best friend and leader of the three brothers that now remained. An aura of penetrating sadness and depression settled over the lair that no longer felt like home to the mutants residing within. It was Donnie who cracked first, with a full-on panic attack, saying that this was "that fucking Foot clan future all over again" and that he'd "rather die than live to see my family tear itself apart".  
Raphael hadn't said a word since three days after Leo had gone missing. He sat very still on the leftmost cushion of the sofa, not saying a word, not moving his eyes, every day of every week. No one touched him. No one addressed him. He would just sit: sometimes silently crying, other times teeming with rage, and still other times just...  
Master Splinter knew that his son would come back. The bond he had with each of his children still burned brightly in his spirit; it was this, the burning, that kept him going. No matter how much training he had, both physical and spiritual, nothing could have prepared him for the loss of a child- regardless of whether or not they were alive, it still hurt the same. He knew that, if the pain was this great for him, it must be unbearable for the brothers who had been together since birth.  
Mikey didn't know what to do. He'd stopped eating due to his stomach's sudden aversion to food and grew thinner with each passing day. This only seemed to worsen Donnie's panic and anxiety attacks, and made his father even more sad than he already appeared to be. Sleep evaded him, yet every night he found himself lying in Leo's bed, hugging his pillow and mask and pretending that his brother was there to rub his shell and tuck him in and tell him that everything was going to be alright.

The eggshells that the Hamato family had been walking on for five months were finally crushed under the weight of their loss. It was truly the straw that broke the camel's back when Michelangelo started crying one afternoon while trying to eat a bowl of cereal and Master Splinter tried to comfort him. "I miss him...! I miss Leo _so much!"_ Mikey cried, clawing at his face with his hand.  
Master Splinter nodded, wrapping Mikey in a hug and petting his head. "I know, I know, my son, but have faith that you will see him again." He said in a soothing tone.  
Something crashed in the living area, preceded by a shout of anguish. Don, Mikey, and Splinter turned to find that Raph and thrown the coffee table into the entertainment center, reducing the impressive system to a pile of rubbish. "NO HE WON'T!" He screamed hoarsely, voice rough from disuse. Stomping up to the kitchen where his family stood eating, he continued, "If Leo ain't come back by now, he's not gonna."  
"Don't say that," Donnie barely whispered, wanting to close his eyes so he couldn't read Raph's lips anymore.  
Raph's unseeing eyes darted around the kitchen, anger and despair following wherever they went. "If he'd loved us, he woulda come back."  
"SHUT UP!" Mikey screeched as he lashed out at his brother weakly. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP _SHUT UP!"_ Exhaustion overcame the thin turtle, and he slid to his knees, crying. "He loves us, Leo loves us, he's alive and he's... he's …."  
Unknowingly, Raph had begun to bawl, hot, salty tears running out of his eyes and soaking into the fabric of his mask. "He's gone, and he's never coming back." Those were the last words Raphael said to his family before he turned, walked toward one of the access tunnels to the sewers, and disappeared.  
"This isn't happening this isn't happening this isn't happening this isn't happening this isn't happening," Donatello muttered over and over to himself from his curled up position on the kitchen floor.  
"Why didn't he love us?" Michelangelo sobbed into his remaining hand.  
In Master Splinter's spirit, he felt one of the bonds with his sons go out.

∆

Leonardo met death 100 miles from the shore of New Jersey.  
Or at least, death met him. His lungs were filled with water, he was sinking, and his heart was ever so slowly ceasing to beat. 'Soon,' he thought, 'It'll all be over soon.' But then, he felt the sensation of stillness, like time had stopped.  
"Hamato Leonardo, why do you chase me so?" The strange, androgynous voice came from a white, misty figure floating two yards in front of Leo as he sank to the bottom of the Atlantic ocean.  
"I'm useless. I've let down everyone I love." Leo answered, feeling the self-hatred bubble up once more.  
"Why do you think this?" The figure asked.  
"I let Mikey get hurt, and I... I can't fight anymore. If I can't follow the ways of Bushido like my family, then what good am I?"  
"You think that just because you can no longer fight that you can not follow Bushido? Look at your family, Leonardo; Raphael is blind. Did that stop him? Donatello can no longer hear, yet he continues to be a great scientist and ninja. Michelangelo, the one you claim you let get hurt, no longer has his left arm, and yet fights anyway. Even your father, Master Splinter, follows the ways of Bushido even though he requires the aid of a walking stick. What makes you any different?"  
It was then, with his body thirty seconds from death, that Leonardo wised the fuck up. "We will meet one day, Hamato Leonardo," said the white mist as it enveloped his body, "but that time has not yet come."  
When the white receded, Leonardo was lying face down underneath a boardwalk, coughing up sea water. He rolled onto his shell and stared up at the wooden planks above him, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. "I want to go home."

The sun was coming up over the New York City skyline on the second week of spring as Raphael sat at the top of a condemned warehouse in the Bronx, twirling one of his sais in his hands and staring unseeingly in the direction of the sun. "You can go blind staring into the sun like that." Joked a voice to Raph's back left.  
Eyes widening and body moving faster than he could think, Raph spun around and ran right up to the person who sounded a lot like- "Leo?" He whispered.  
There was an airy chuckle. "Yeah, bro, it's me."  
Raph should've hit him. Should've socked him right in the jaw for being a fucking idiot. But he just... he honestly couldn't bring himself to do it, couldn't bring himself to ruin the happiness and relief and calmness he now felt because _Leo was alive_. He was _alive_ and here, now, standing in front of him smelling like fish and salt and sweat and _Leo._ So, instead of Raphael, he acted like himself instead and wrapped his brother, his leader, his best friend, in the biggest, warmest hug he could manage... and cried. He cried and he didn't care, not even when Leo started giving him small kisses.  
Some time later, he managed to pull away. "C'mon, ya big dork," He said in a voice choked with phlegm and saliva. "Let's go home."

Leonardo and his brothers slept among a huge pile of pillows and blankets on the training mats for the first time since they were seven years old, with Master Splinter taking up the sofa. Donnie, Raph, and Mikey all crowded around Leo- not that he minded- and, for the first time in five months, slept soundly.  
All except Mikey, that is. There was something eating at him, and it wasn't gonna leave him alone until he knew the answer, so he quietly shook Leo awake. "Psst, Leo. Leo, wake up. Leo."  
Some grumbling, and then- "... Wha is i', Mikey?"  
"I… I wanted you to know that I don't... blame you for what happened. Y'know, to me. Ok?"  
Silence for a bit. "I know, bro. Thank you." With his tired eyes still closed, the blue-masked turtle gave his brother a kiss to the top of the head. "Now, get s'm sleep."  
"Ok."  
There was quiet again, interrupted in regular intervals by Raph's snoring. Some time passed before Mikey spoke again. "Leo?"  
"... Yeah?"  
"I love you!"  
A sleepy laugh. "I love you, too."

End


End file.
